It SNOWED today; fa-la-la-la-la….la-la-la-la….

Work shut down at 2pm because cars (oh, and don’t forget the bus) slid down the steeper roads. My coworker watched the city bus slide down mainstreet sideways. Then, one car pancaked over a second car…. there was the threat of freezing rain after that which probably prompted the early closure.

I got home first and thought I would do the honourable thing and actually learn how to use the snowblower.

ohmygod. There is NOTHING graceful or poetic about learning to manage a snowblower. It mostly consists of hanging on for dear life ~ then remembering to let go of EVERYTHING before you crash…into the garage door….the tree on the lawn…the front porch…

Who would have thought that the thing drives as fast in reverse as it does going forward? Or that, if you forget to let go of one of the turning levers; the machine wants to drive in very fast circles?

Then you have to remember to aim the chute properly. Or you will think you are driving in a blinding snowstorm only to realize the chute was heaving all the snow down on your head, while gentle snowflakes gracefully twirl to the ground everywhere else.

I heard laughing from up the hill. From the boys who were shovelling their driveway while I lurched back and forth, the abominable snowman (woman?) being dragged behind the cheerful, red snow machine.

Hubby actually had the nerve to SULK when he got home and saw I’d done the driveway. AND he had the nerve to show me that I’d somehow managed to completely sever one of the cables for the snowchute. In the middle of all that chaos, how was I supposed to see some little wire (ok, CABLE, dear if it makes you happy) was being twisted or stretched to the breaking point?

What’s one little cable anyway?

He then had the nerve to ask me how to work the thing! I remember saying something about reading the ” *&^(*#$%” operator’s manual, LIKE I DID, and walked off.

If you’ll excuse me, I must go apply heat to my aching arms and back. My arms grew a good 1/4″ hanging on to that machine – that HUGE MONSTER SNOW EATER – and they ache rather badly.

Snow, snow – freakin’ GO AWAY!!!!