Mathew knows he might have cancer.

He found out earlier than we intended because I had a major slip of the tongue during the doctor’s visit on Friday. Mathew heard me ask if the medical community believes the results will show that he has bone cancer… His reaction was immediate but dulled by the painkillers. It was an awful way to find out and I’ve cursed my faux-pas many times these past couple of days.

During the subsequent conversation Mathew decided that until the biopsy results are back his focus is on the tumour and nothing else. I’m glad. The doctor answered yes to my question about bone cancer so I will worry about that on Mathew’s behalf. He is dealing with pain right now and a restricted lifestyle and that is hard enough to bear.

Every now and then though, he comments or asks me something in relation to the next events we are waiting for. He knows that we want his tumour to respond to chemotherapy; to shrink that bastard right out of his spine before surgery is planned. He understands what chemotherapy is ~ television isn’t just for looks after all.

Other news from Friday’s appointment:

– The latest scan did not show any other tumours in Mathew’s body. Big relief!
– The tumour in his spine did not grow in the 2-1/2 weeks between the original scan and the biopsy scan last week.
– His bloodwork also came back with normal values.

Right now Mathew’s back is very sore where the biopsy was done. Everything has faded down to a twooney-sized bruise around the tiny incision (for those who aren’t Canadian; a twooney is the nickname for our two dollar coin).

I hate the waiting. I dread the call. I swing between hope and despair.

So much rides on those biopsy results.