Sorry I was away so long.

Turns out having 6 teeth pulled at once can make a gal cranky. I took three days off work to recover and then, along with a bottle of Advil, headed back. Eating is still a challenge since the last of my molars are now gone. Everything is healing nicely but slowly so it will be a while before I’m comfortable eating as per normal. Today was the first day I didn’t take Advil all through the day. I rested whenever I could and didn’t want to post while feeling miserable.

Anyway, Mathew still hasn’t received his next chemo treatment. His platelets weren’t good enough until today for another round. He is scheduled for chemo next Wednesday which is his last outpatient. Mathew is gleefully enjoying this unscheduled break; going to movies, seeing friends and eating whatever strikes his fancy. He is actually getting bored sitting at home which means “field trips”. Today he was so desperate to get out that he and I went to the Superstore for groceries together! I pick up necessities only as pushing the wheelchair and juggling grocery items is a bit crazy at times. On Sunday Mathew and I took a drive up to a small town north of us for some home made ice-cream and a change of scenery. On Saturday we went to see the movie Godzilla and brought along one of Mathew’s friends.

Mathew LOVED the new Godzilla movie! John and Kristen also came along however they are not Godzilla fans to begin with so found the more than 2 hour length almost too much. I enjoyed the mindless entertainment ~ I love huge disaster movies where the Earth gets destroyed. Not that I ever want it to happen but watching the special effects is fun. This movie is much more like your old traditional Japanese Godzilla movie so I was prepared for its style and story line. If you aren’t a Godzilla fan however, consider passing on this one! Oh yes and I did manage to munch on a small bag of popcorn, one popped kernel at a time. Where there’s a will there’s a way!

Then, both John and I had our 50th birthdays on Monday and Tuesday. Mine on Monday and John’s on Tuesday (my sister’s is also on May 20th ~ I like to think I was her first birthday present….although I gather she didn’t appreciate sharing the attention for a long time!). Neither of us were in the mood for much of a celebration. We did have a few cakes and a pie, and had Swiss Chalet for John’s birthday dinner.

I was relieved to turn 50. I dreaded 49 for years ~ since I was 19, in fact. While I was in boot camp, some buddy claimed to be able to tell the future and told me I wouldn’t marry the fellow I was seeing at the time; that I would be happily married and have kids. Prophetic, no? I upped him though when I declared back that I also knew something about my future: when I was 49 something bad happened. I didn’t know what it was but wondered if I died when I was 49.

Over the years I mentioned it off and on but I doubt those who heard me took me seriously. When I though about it however, that certainty never changed. So when I turned 49 last May it was with uncertainty and no small amount of dread. I just wanted to get the year done with. I never, EVER imagined  that “bad thing” would be cancer in one of my kids. In fact, I didn’t even remember until a few days after Mathew’s diagnosis when that premonition hit me square between the eyes. I am not one for predicting the future and don’t buy into that stuff but for 30 years I knew something bad happened when I was 49.

So it did. Something unimaginable. I am pleased to report that is the only thing I have ever really “predicted” and have never seen/sensed anything beyond that. I don’t know the outcome and know nothing about the future anymore, for which I am so grateful. I don’t want to know what is down the road. I often wonder if subconsciously being aware of something predicted causes you to change your own destiny to fit that prediction.

So I am happy to be 50. It’s still a shock that it is fifty. It sounds awfully foreign and well, OLD. I guess I am definitely middle-aged now although I don’t feel it. Overall I like who I am and how I’ve outgrown so many unworthy worries and pettiness that used to occupy my time. I need to lose weight but I’m not stressing about that right now; I have other, more important, people occupying all of my time right now. I will get back to exercising when I can; maybe start by taking walks at lunch. I’m okay with this. I’m okay with a lot of things that used to bother me.

Except that damned Pug of mine when he licks, licks, LICKS the freakin’ floor, the other dog, the blankets….*sigh*. See? Always room for growth!

We had a few beautiful days of sun. We’ve had so few that people leave work in droves to get out there and soak up the sun. I soooo get the urge to join them but feel the need to save my vacation time for when it is needed.

I will write more when I can; Mathew is hogging my time right now as he is feeling pretty good and wants to get out of the house. Or we watch tv or movies together at home. Between that and work, not much else is going on right now!  I do have a couple of things I want to post about soon, so don’t go too far!

Happy weekend to you and yours. Me and mine will be cleaning house and entertaining you-know-who!

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