Today some of Mathew’s cousins stopped in to visit. He wanted me in the room as a Moderator (ie, I can read his body language to know if he is overwhelmed or too tired) but Kristen acted in that role. I find the young ones speak freely and enjoy themselves more without the old parents around. Mathew was up to sitting in his chair for a while and tried out the Nintendo Switch through the tv. I hear it worked well and the graphics were very good.

It was a good visit for Mathew and lasted a few hours. After that he grew tired and Mom took over to hang out for the next several hours. The last few days gave him enough excitement to get up and visit but he is now pretty tired!

Yesterday his Aunt Denise drove into town with a sumptuous homemade meal for us. Two meals actually but it is almost all gone. John ate the Korean Beef dish and gave me a tiny piece… while the Maple Mustard Chicken was a hit with the kids. I’m trying not to eat any because if Mathew loves something then I want it for him. The rice is tasty as are the garlic mashed potatoes. There’s no sense even talking about the caramel chocolate brownies because they went so fast we barely saw them!

Today was unexpectedly difficult for me. Maybe because my hopes were pinned on Mathew’s birthday and he reached the milestone. It could be I spent a lot of time reminiscing about when he was a baby. It was also hearing the little party in his room today and knowing that all that life, sparkle and laughter should belong to Mathew and not just his sister and cousins. I love them all and delight when they get together and hang out as family. Today was tough. Mathew doesn’t want Kristen to leave and their visit was so fulfilling for him.

I took an Ativan but that didn’t help much at all. I ended up disappearing into the bedroom because all I could do was weep today. Either some bug is about to hit me (that’s a sign I’m sick, weepiness) or I just decided to have an emotional day. Given how exhausted I currently feel maybe it is a bit of everything.

Mathew is off the Advil already; his heartburn came back fast and ugly. The rest of all the drugs we are throwing at him still isn’t easing that side pain he has. I spoken to Mathew about the palliative care unit but he so badly does not want to go back to the hospital that has no good association attached to it. He has the choice not to go but I explained no one can help him any further without their intervention. It hurts Mathew to cough or sneeze. Resting on his side is out of the question because it hurts.

I am sure you will find me post that he is going to the hospital for a short in-patient stay, to get his pain meds sorted out. I will let his nurse know on Monday and then wait for decisions along the system.

Meanwhile, Kristen is flying back to Ottawa tomorrow. The time she is here flies by so fast and then she is gone again. It always hurts, just a little bit, when we send her off. Ottawa is good for her and is a lovely city for young people ~ it helps immensely if you are bilingual, as she is. It isn’t that far from us but I miss her when she isn’t around. Sigh.

John is in with Mathew tonight and I’m taking advantage of an early bed time this evening. It is awfully cold outside so I’m going to bundle up in our bed and get a good night’s sleep.

Thank you everyone for Mathew’s birthday wishes, visits, Facebook posts, gifts, etc. He enjoyed himself and this after thinking he would be too sick to. It was a lovely gift for his Mom and Dad too!

Stay warm and safe on this frosty night everyone