Today was day 2 of the Decadron. Now maybe it is the combination of not eating for 5 days plus the steroid but there was a noticeable difference in Mathew’s mood this morning. I was very tired and wasn’t happy to see the cranky and difficult mood. He was also quite nauseous.

A bit later in the morning Mathew got an Ativan and after that his mood picked up. He slept all night and day except for a short period this afternoon when he went on his iPad and had a very fast shower. I mean so fast I was sweating to get him out quickly! He is sweating heavily again but being under the water if only for a few minutes felt nice for him.

Mathew refused all food today and de drank well until early afternoon and then even that needed encouragement. He has black circles under his eyes and just wants to sleep.

Some of his birthday purchases came in today. Two packages showed up at the door and he opened them then set them aside. The other two came in the mail and he didn’t want to open them at all. They are on the counter waiting for his interest to pick up.

We are concerned of course, with him going for so long without eating and just sleeping. There isn’t anything we can do though but stay with him. He absolutely does not want to be alone so I’m getting quite used to doing everything in his recliner. He wanted me to eat my cereal in there this morning so he could see me but dinner was out – John rustled up some take out from his favourite Fish N Chips place because I requested a cheeseburger and fries. It didn’t take long to remember why I never eat from there…. it’s the grease guys; ugh. Since our fridge is kind of bare I needed some food and appreciated John going the extra mile for me.

John is staying home tomorrow and is taking over the night shift so I can get some proper rest tonight. I dozed in the chair until after 1 pm today because I didn’t sleep much last night. When it gets quiet and the world goes to sleep the reality of our situation sinks in and then I’m done for sleeping. I just want to listen to Mathew breath and be available if he wakes at all. I worry, like John, that the end may be coming faster than we thought. It is hard to think otherwise when Mathew sleeps constantly and has no interest in anything at all. I just hope this is another bump in the journey and not the end decline.

When the doorbell rang for the Amazon delivery today (I only knew because I checked the front porch while on a bathroom break later) Mathew asked me to not even go to the door today, so I didn’t.

Even the cat is getting lonely. When Mathew feels sick he doesn’t allow Gimley into his room. Enough days have gone by with me camping out exclusively in his room that Gimley haunts the hallway meowing to be let in. It gets more persistent closer to his afternoon meal when he thinks everyone has forgotten his feeding time. As if! He starts the reminder calls about 2 hours before actual feeding time so that isn’t a possibility! He is a good kitty; very laid back and relaxed but that part about him being quiet? I DON”T THINK SO!!

This post is early tonight as John took over and I am off to our room for a long nap.

I thank you all for reading my blog; I have heard from a number of you that you are in fact, keeping up. There is also a counter on the blog to show how many people hit on my blog. I appreciate it and know this is why the requests to visit have stopped. I do promise to get in touch with those closest to our location (family) should Mathew indicate he is up for company. Right now all of my time is spent in his room and most of John’s time.

So stay tuned and so will we. Good night everyone